Being in a relationship

This page has information on how Parkinson’s can affect your relationships and sex life, whether you or your partner have the condition.

Key points

  • A long-term condition can affect all parts of your relationship. And Parkinson's symptoms can make communication and intimacy more difficult.
  • If sex is an important part of your life, a range of healthcare professionals can help you manage your symptoms better or suggest ways to adapt.
  • There are also things you and your partner can do to improve your communication, have more patience and feel closer to each other.

How can Parkinson’s affect my relationships?

Parkinson's causes the brain to produce less dopamine. This can not only affect movement, but also the pleasure and reward systems in the brain which make us want to have sex. It can also have an effect on someone’s ability to get an erection.

First reactions 

You and your partner may react to a Parkinson’s diagnosis very differently. You may both feel angry, frustrated, in denial or guilty at different times. You may even feel relieved at finally knowing what is causing your symptoms.

People affected by Parkinson’s have told us how important it was to allow time for them and their partner to adjust. 

Expectations 

If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner may have different expectations of life with Parkinson’s. Perhaps one of you is more optimistic than the other. One of you may like to talk about problems, while the other prefers to reflect on them alone. 

There’s no right or wrong way to come to terms with a diagnosis. But trying to understand each other’s view can help to minimise conflict. Talking frankly to each other can be a great help. 

Wherever possible: 

  • be honest and curious about how the issue is affecting you both
  • share your opinions without judging each other 
  • make sure you get accurate information about Parkinson’s, so your expectations are realistic 
  • share this information with the people in your life who you think will be affected. 

Emotional change 

After a diagnosis of Parkinson’s, some couples find themselves mourning their old life. You may be adjusting to changes in your lifestyle, personal identity, self-image and working life. 

When relationships are going well and we feel positive about ourselves, it’s easier to manage life’s ups and downs. When they’re not, even simple things can feel like a struggle. You may find your relationship changes in ways you hadn’t expected. 

Talking openly to each other can bring you closer as a couple. Some people may feel they’re dealing with these emotions on their own. If this is making you feel isolated or resentful, you may want to try relationship counselling.

Read our information on relationship support and counselling.

Changing roles

Any long-term condition or disability is likely to have a big impact on even the healthiest of relationships. 

As Parkinson’s progresses, you and your partner may take the roles of carer and cared-for. This can be difficult if your relationship was very different before. For example, if the cared-for person was used to being the main earner and decision-maker, or if the carer had an independent lifestyle. 

Some couples find it hard to see each other as equal partners in these new roles. It may take time to adapt to a new type of relationship. 

As a partner, it can be a challenge to separate the role of carer from lover. Take time to see the person you fell in love with and love them for who they are.

You could both try to: 

  • maintain a sense of independence, with time to be alone and do your own thing, as well as doing things together 

  • take any opportunity to reverse the caring role. for example, the person with Parkinson’s may continue to give emotional or intellectual support 

  • find activities where you can be equals, such as playing board games, watching films or socialising with friends

  • come up with a list of things you can continue to do together, or new things you’d like to try 

  • keep communicating with each other, even if Parkinson’s symptoms make this more difficult. 

Read our information on communication and Parkinson’s.

How can stress, anxiety and depression affect my relationships?

Adjusting to life with Parkinson’s may be stressful, whether you have the condition yourself or you care for someone who does. 

Some people may experience feelings of depression. This can be a symptom of Parkinson’s, or caused by the challenges of living with the condition. Money and work can also be sources of stress. 

Parkinson’s and domestic abuse

In any relationship, you may find yourself arguing. Healthy arguing includes mutual respect, taking accountability and working together to repair and resolve the issue. 

Arguing can become unhealthy where one or both partners feel afraid or unsafe, or where there is power imbalance and fear in the relationship. 

This might include:

  • gaslighting (making someone doubt their own experience or memory)
  • stonewalling (refusing to talk or interact)
  • insults
  • intimidation
  • manipulation
  • blaming
  • minimising (making someone feel that they are overreacting).

Support for domestic abuse

If you are frightened, and see any of the behaviours above, contact any of the following:

  • Women's Aid: find local support, or advice on helping someone else. Visit the Women's Aid website.
  • Hub of Hope: the UK's largest mental health support directory. Visit the Hub of Hope website.
  • National Domestic Abuse Helpline: for help to find safe refuge accommodation and access other services:
    • In England, call 0808 2000 247.
    • In Scotland, call 0800 027 1234.
    • In Wales, call 0808 80 10 800.
    • In Northern Ireland, call 0808 802 1414.
  • Men's Advice Line: for men experiencing domestic abuse, call 0808 8010 327.
  • Samaritans: speak to a trained volunteer at a time of crisis, call 116 123.

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Thank you

Thank you very much to everyone who contributed to or reviewed this information:

  • Debbie Keenan, BACP Senior Accredited Psychotherapist 

  • Dr Jennifer Foley, Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist at the National Hospital for Neurology and Neurosurgery

  • Rose Ryan, Intimacy Coordinator for film and TV and Parky Partner.

Last updated

This content will next be reviewed within 3 years of that date. If you'd like to find out more about how we put our information together, including references and the sources of evidence we use, please contact us at [email protected]