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Bad Poets Society, couplets, triplets and short stories. If you failed your 11 + , welcome.

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thank you TeeHee



I give in , I give up.


You have to be a mind reader,


A.   I like tea,

B.  I like tea too.

A. I didn't mean tea, I meant to say coffee.



A.   I  really don't like tea


B.  well if you don't like tea,  we can arrange for you to have coffee to accommodate your needs.


A.  I was only joking.


B. ?..?   what was the joke?  do you like tea or don't you?  


Eeeeek !   








Arrgh !,,,



Lol Lol Lol sorry i meant  LOL LOL LOL


Just started my new book...


'How to make friends and influence people'.


A sequel to  

' The diplomats handbook'


The Guardian  "  clearly written  by a tactful and sensitive person"

The Telegraph  " interesting and informative"

The Sun     " great book written by a busty blonde"


: )   : ) :)  :)   :)   :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :) :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :)  :) :)  :)   :)


Is it illustrated?



Of course, great pictures mostly showing people with red faces and steam coming out their ears......

Recommended reading  age   7   to   12 years  


Published by Ladybird  £45.99


7-10 years an advanced stage then. Peter and Jane books  are the best. My daughter reads them to me when I can't sleep. She tried reading a Tim and Tobias book recently but some big words which she had to break down into 3's for me like "Pl-ay-ed" really spoiled the experience



It was a cold wintry night around 25 years ago and I was about as bored as you could possibly get during working hours.   A nightshift on foot patrol where during the early hours the highlight was checking the back of shop premises to ensure they had not been broken into.  

The only prospect of a bit of excitement was actually finding a burglar, this also meant you could go back to the station in the warm , have a nice cup of tea whilst doing the arrest paperwork.

I checked the properties,  all secure.  I wondered where all the burglars were,  probably safely tucked up in bed, their striped jumpers neatly folded next to a cloth bag marked SWAG. 

I was really cold,  the novelty of completing initial training and being able to go out on patrol  on your own was wearing off.

Making me jump my radio crackled into life, " report of a suspicious incident,  guy seen hanging around .....cemetry by driver on his way to work. "

On approach to the dimly lit cemetery grounds I held my oversized torch a bit tighter than I normally did.  A quick look round and I saw no one,  then the sound of twigs snapping ?  

I turned in the direction of the sound and saw only the outlines of the headstones.  Why on earth would anyone want to go into a grave yard at this time of night?

After several minutes carefully avoiding tripping up over uneven ground and clumps of rotting flowers,   I looked up and saw the silhouette of a tree.  I could see a shape of a man ? a rope tied around a thick branch with a body suspended beneath, feet not quite touching the ground.

I stopped, shocked I processed the haunting image and remembered cut the body down but keep the knot intact ?   I made my way over to the tree crunching over marble chips and gravel. A man dressed in a suit , my heart thumping loudly part in sadness but mostly in fear.

I contacted the control room updating them of a potential suicide.

I reached out to touch the arm of the man and straw escaped from a sleeve.   I pushed the 'body'  it was light and swung with ease backwards and forwards.

I heard laughing nearby as my colleagues came into view from their hiding places.  Ha! Ha!  very funny,  NOT.........

Back at the station with a hot mug of very sweet tea,  I was  still struggling to see the funny side , yes I knew it was fast approaching bonfire night and yes the words used were " there's a GUY hanging around" .



Horace  was a roman poet in 40 BC ,  who wrote about the black dog linked to feelings of depression.

Winston Churchill is perhaps the first public figure to speak of the 'black dog ', to describe his personal battle with depression.

It is often said his personal struggles with depression enriched his leadership skills, he knew what it was like to feel defeat, feel there was no way forward, then rise above those feelings.

The famous speeches, inspiring, urging the country to continue to fight on against the darkness of the enemy.

With remembrance day fast approaching with thoughts of all soldiers fallen or survived, heroic acts remembered. Our minds are set upon the harsh realities of war and the impact of such hostilities on brave soldiers both the dead and the living. 

Spare a thought for all those people fighting their own personal battles.  Battles fought where there is no war, not heroes just ordinary people, no matter how insignificant you feel their struggle is, consider being their ally not their enemy.

In my thoughts are those soldiers who have fought in war zones , who now prepare to fight another battle - Parkinsons.