Hi Amy

I think Rays was deleted becaused he was insulting me about my spelling. Mine probably for my reaction, didnt see yours so dont know what opr why yours was deleted.

Mark

Hi Mark

I'm sorry about diagnosis, funny I always thought of parkinsons as an older person's disease, but my partner was diagnosed at 45 - obviously having problems for years previously but not realising what was wrong, and there are so many others in the same age frame, I must admit to being shocked to be honest, not that I'm saying it's any easier when your older - please don't anyone think I am.

I did not mean anything personally (to anyone), this is a discussion, and we are all different people with different views/ experiences of the subject, I only have mine and was discussing the subject purely from my side, and it's interesting to hear what other people have to say - whether I agree with them or not, and I am not expecting everyone to agree with me either .

I also think sometimes that the written word doesn't always come across as it was meant, for example - Mark I do owe you an apology - when I said about you not understanding, I was also being a bit sexist - in that you are a man and men never understand anything (I mean this jokingly - from a woman's point of view, like men say they never understand women) , and you did come across as being unwilling to even consider that it could be the drugs that caused the problems, in your first posts (although this might not necessarily have been how you meant to come across - you did sound a bit like you were dismissing totally that drugs could ever cause anything like this - which as I say wasn't necessarily what you meant - but how I took it).

As I said I think sometimes the written word does not always come across as meant, some of us are also better than others at putting our thoughts down or paper (I'm not a paper person - if you met me you would know that I never upset anyone and would be mortified if I did, I do however have a big mouth which sadly probably comes across the wrong way on paper ) we all also have different typing abilities etc.... so can we just take things in the spirit that they are meant as I am sure noone on this forum is out to upset anyone else.

I only added what I did originally in the hope that it might stop someone else being in the position I am in at the moment; having to find a man that doesn't want to be found, and get him help that he doesn't want - I am on a learning curve with this too.

Amy

Hi DLH

I forgot previously, with everything else going on now - that I did in fact leave my partner a few months ago (although technically he's left me not sure whether he's my X or partner at the moment - does phone calls class as a relationshp - I'm not sure )but I walked away and was prepared to have nothing more to do with him - which might sound strange as I am the one fighting against DA's and now spending my time trying to help a man that doesn't want to be helped etc ........

But I left him because I don't want to do this anymore, I don't want to live like this anymore - I don't want to be his carer - I want my life! I'm sorry I know that sounds harsh - but I am being honest. But because I obviously love this man - the only way I was able to do this was by remembering that he had walked into a bar last November and chatted up another woman and gone off with her - and if he could do this he obviously doesn't care about me so I'm not going to care about him!!!! Even though I know different, and know exactly why he did what he did, and believe why he did it - I do not have any doubts - I still used this as my excuse to walk away from a difficult situation I no longer wanted to deal with - and I am only here now, not because I didn't give up on him - but because, as I said to someone else, HE did not give up on me.

My point is that yes it is possible to use things that we know arn't true to work in our favour - because I have done it myself.

Amy

MARK:

My comments about your spelling were genuine - if clumsy - in that I really WAS having trouble understanding. Apologies for causing a problem.

Ray.

Amy is so right in observing how easy it is to convey the wrong message when using only the written word.

I think I read somewhere that in a conversation or speech only 25% of the message is conveyed by the content (the actual words); the rest is picked up by tone of voice and body language. So when we write we need to be 4 times more careful than usual! LOL.

Ray.

Ray

I dont mind a bit of harmless banter, just it did come across as taking the mick at my spelling. I know no harm was meant.

Mark

Hi all,
Pleased things have calmed down now,i saw Rays deleted message at the time and can understand why it was removed.
I think its important to remember that most using this site do so for much needed support.Talking generally,its not nice to think of somebody upset and agitated on the receiving end of a message.
I do agree that words can be misinterpreted,it is hard to convey thoughts and emotions when putting them in writing.I myself have scrapped replies on other topics because i diden't like the way they came across.
I suppose the plus side of flooding our emotions on to paper,is the relief we get by getting things off our chest,relieving a bit of stress.There should be three words in red highlighted before the blue post icon,THINK BEFORE YOU.
All the best
Titan

Titan:

As you know, Mark and I have already exchanged posts and made up amicably.

Not sure why you now want to dig it all up again.

Or feel the need to name me.

It was all sorted out in your absence, thanks.

Ray.

Hi Amy.

Any progress?

Ray.