I like the idea of twices, they do come in twos don't they?

Yes, yes!

No wonder all you badgers are putting on weight, you need to get rid of that paunch. How about not having chocolate for a week and see what difference it would make.

Ok, I will get my hat and coat.

Badgers putting on weight? Badgers having a paunch? Well now this will not do. So in future I will bring celery & cottage cheeses and suchlike. The combination to the secret subsett containing kit-kats, pancakes, doughnuts, twixeses and suchlike is writ in code, large & nice to hear

.
Good abdominous afternoon!

I'll have you know that well-rounded badger paunches are considered very much en vogue in snuffling circles this season, as they represent huge storage capacity, which could well be a highly desirable asSETT for a young badger like me before the year is out. Perhaps for petrol storage?

Thanks for the delicious offer of some good healthy tuck, and trying to get us back into shape. Would you be so kind as to drop that large but surprisingly uninteresting-looking tupperware box into the bin on your way out? Thank you.

Lt Uhuru? Please transmit the new combination for the secret subsett to me once I'm in-flight in my enhanced Zebra Airbus Master BOMBer A-380 (ZAMBOMBA) - which I was presented with as Decrepit Universal Master Badger - Oracle (DUMBO) for 2011. I'll take the Super Code Automatic Breaker Sett (SCABS) along with me so we can get picking straight away, directly connecting it into the on-board string of IBM 9900s comprising the Multi Ebriectional Communist Creationistic Abiogenesis system (MECCA).

This situation MUST be resolved as our top priority. Sorry we couldn't utilise your superb services today Lt Pigeon. Unfortunately the load will be too great for your piddly bones, and your speeds once through the sound barrier can only be described as pathetic. You also don't have MECCA.

General Ferret? Get the Zebra out of the hangar, please. You can go along for the ride if you wish, Pigeon, but if there's trouble I'll expect you to do your bit.

Major Zibeline, please supervise the loading of the 400 pallets (1 week's supply) of emergency chocolate products in the safest and most space-effective way, whilst spreading the load as eveny along and across the aircraft as you can. Captain Cobblers? The aircraft is yours now - looking a bit heavy and sagging in the middle, though - you may want to stop off at the M4 Heston Services on the way out for a top-up, although the queues are getting longer. Might be better to top-up at Douglas or Shannon. Or Tristan Da Cunha. Or anywhere which gives Green Shield Stamps.

If you can't get the old bus off the ground without it breaking up, Cobblers, abandon ship, and we'll let Pigeon take over the delivery. That'll be one pallet per return trip, equals 800 trips. I wonder what the bus fare will be, and whether I'll be able to negotiate a bulk discount from the conductor.

Col Cachelot? Prepare the taser team for defending this precious cargo. And just remember, following the lead set by our good friends Dr Appendix and Admirable Cervix, we've now officially designated the plural of Twix to be Twices.

Badger Mayo-Naze.

.

The code is easy to crack
Then on Twices you may snack
Wave your arms in the air
Then as loud as you dare
To the tune that is writ LARGE
(no need to consult the Sarge)
Sing words by A SON OF BEN
AND HOPE that you will then
Find that by magic you stand
In the GLORY of chocoLAND

Flight Lieutenant Pigeon
Is of the opinion
Since he does all the work
For the sake of you good folk
He should be promoted
And not be outvoted
If not to Commodore
At least to Squad Leader
He would like to boss about
Some young Officer Cadet

Hi there ferrets oops sorry badgers, great and small, or less paunchy, not that I'm one of those. I hope you managed to get your old crate off the ground without too much trouble and once up I hope it stayed up, in the air I mean, so's not to cause confusion on the topic of cervixes and twices ! Personally I'm not a fan of twices, once was enough for me! I did try it twice in its original form, the first time I was sick, the second time it blew me hat orf!! So, needless to say I've steered well clear ever since.

Radz, anthrozoology: Yes an odd subject as my first degree was medieval studies! I've always been exceeding curious, nay some say nosey about people and I love all animals, so the opportunity to study both together at the same time seemed to me to good an opportunity to miss. Hence anthrozoology. It's been very interesting and many topics about ethics and how we treat non human animals has given rise to a great deal of discussion and thought provoking seminars. Including the current ethos of badger culling!!!! Do non human animals think ? A cause of much wrangling, some are adamant that animals only act on instinct, but I believe we have now established that animals, human or otherwise do indeed think. Sometimes not thinking properly, that mostly down to human animal thought!!

Anyway enough of academia for one night, seems I've been missing some fun and frolics in this sett the last few nights due to knock out drugs? I hope all my Badgery friends are well tonight? Speak again soon Puddley xx

Ahoy there!

I believe that all higher animals can and do think lucidly, make experienced-based decisions and communicate with each other in a sophisticated and multi-participant way. Probably in pictures, but nonetheless in a well-honed and very effective manner. How else could a flock of 1,000 birds all make a 90-degree left turn at EXACTLY the same split second of an instant?

Hello Puddley,
Medieval Studies? Manchester by any chance?

Only a few of us who can't seem to sleep, once again!!!