The Breakfast Pun


This is waffle!

I pancake it no more!!

Old colanders never die, they just can't take the strain anymore

Did you know that plums are the Queen's favourite fruit?

That's why we always sing "send her Victorias"

Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.

Where do generals keep their armies?

Up their sleevies

This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home town for the holidays.

After looking over the menu he says, "I'll just have the eggs benedict."

His order comes a while later and it's served on a big shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?"

The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"Doctor,doctor. I keep thinking I'm an antelope"

"Calm down deer"


What fruit reminds you of Dolly Parton?

A large pear.

The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.




A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'We don't serve bacteria in this place.' The bacteria said, 'But I work here, I'm staph.'



Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing to them

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words

How did Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even.