Hi again
I was diagnosed in February of this year and have been on meds since May, so feeling a little more positive about life with PD now. One of the biggest problems I've had is telling people. I find it difficult enough to talk about PD when I'm only just coming to terms with it myself. I've found it hard to choose the right moment or the 'right' person. (I'm sure you know what I mean!) People's reactions are mixed, but mostly supportive. What puts me off telling more people is that a couple of friends have not been in touch since. (I know I should say, 'oh well they weren't the kind of friends I'd want to keep anyway' etc) Any advice on how to handle this kind of thing?
Thanks all
DJ

They are probably embarrassed and do not know what to say so avoid the situation where they will have to meet you..Why not write a letter or E mail similar to what you have said here that you are coming to terms with having P.D but intially found it difficult to talk about it.You can then add that you would like to continue being their friend as you value their friendship.They will probably be relieved you have taken the iniative.
If they do not respond then you know that they are fair weather friends and are scared you might make demands on them.I think this unlikely. I know of numerous incidents where friends do not speak because they do not know what to say.Both John and I, when we told friends about the P.D,said that we were not going to ruin today by worrying about tomorrow. (That did not stop me being upset although John was upbeat)John,because he is that sort of person, usually made a joke about the various advantages of having a tremor.Those he told his Morrismen friends are unrepeatable.This usually lightened the atmosphere and people could be relaxed around him.
This weekend we have been to two celebration parties/barbeques.I am proud to say that uninvited several friends said how much they admired John.You never know how strong you are until you are put to the test.Now be strong and help these friends out by taking the iniative.

Djemm,

That happened me. This woman I'd known since I was 16 contacted me saying she'd love to hear from me. When I wrote back she went silent. Nothing.

I was a bit shocked but realise she must have been shocked. I might write again.

mairead

djemm-
I know a lot of people won't agree with me but I feel that you are under no obligation to tell people anything if or until you want to.
If you are getting on with life, contributing to society and would rather come to terms with your situation before ''sharing'' details ,that's ok. Obviously those close tto you are different but sometimes the stress of imparting details of one's health isnot necessary so do what you want-when you want.
As I said, I'm sure lots of people will disagree but we all have our own coping strategies.
Take care
Millie

Hi djemm
Welcome to the forum. I agree with Millie on this one - just tell who you want, when you want, and give yourself time to come to terms with what's happening to you.
SlackAlice

Thanks English Country Dancer, Mairead and Millie. It's good to have your sensible advice and hear your own experiences, puts it all into perspective. I'd not thought of writing to them, I was expecting them to get in touch, but that's a really good idea. Being fairly recently diagnosed (after a battery of tests between Feb and May this year) I know I'm going to use this forum a lot. You're all so welcoming and helpful.
Cheers
djemm

Of course it is up to each individual when,where or if, they tell anyone.I only write as I feel.All I can say is that by the time John got a diagnoses speculation amongst friends and neighbours was rife.We just prefer to be up front but it is everybodys right to handle things as they wish.

Hi djemm again I agree with ECd and Slack Alice, I have told certain people, close family and friends as it is hard to hide it from them and can be a burden hiding it. However, I have not told a lot of people I know but sometimes I get the feeling more people know that I think know, if you know what I mean? Anyway what I am trying to see is, it is your choice and your business who you tell and dont feel obliged you have to tell anyone unless you want to, take care, Carol and look forward to chatting to you some more.

I have this dilemma too - son started school last week and another mum and I have been having coffee and chatting. I realised suddenly how much I'm suddenly defining myself by this by wondering when to tell her. Very natural but probably unwise. As a wise friend somewhere else says - there's lots of other things about you she doesn't know yet, this is only one. But I feel so cut off from everyone, even my husband. Only one friend really gets it. She listens, checks on me, but I know if I feel sorry for myself too long and stop asking how she is she'll put me straight in a nice way. Some people will take advantage if they see you as weak emotionally in certain environments. Work is one. So I'm going to hold back a bit, unless she asks. Some people do notice but actually very few.

I do not mean to be unkind, but it is surprising how many people know or guess you have P.D but respect privacy and say nothing.As soon as John got a firm diagnoses and told people they said things like,"My dad/uncle/gran had it so I was pretty sure of what you had......wondered what your Doc was playing at not referring you...wicked you had to pay.I do not know about large communities as I have not lived in one for 30 years but in small ones, news travels.