Oh I am fed up!
It hurts like hell today.
And keeping the smile upon my lips
Is getting harder, I would say!
My body will not move
The way I want to go,
I feel like a huge beached whale,
And look like one, you know!
I can’t think why I’m talking,
You may be worse than me,
But I can’t help complaining,
I feel so bad, you see.
It’s time I went to bed now,
I loved this time of night,
But now it’s fraught with problems,
I just can’t bear the fight!
Getting into nightie,
Cleaning teeth and face,
Trying to get comfy,
Stuck in one same place!
Waking far too early,
Fighting with my head,
Trying to get moving,
Frustration mounts instead.
I know you understand,
You’ve been there and you know
Just what it is like
And sympathy will flow!

Lin
xx

Dear Lin,
Bless you and try to get a decent nights sleep. X
I am feeling fed up to if that helps. Work is becoming more difficult don't know where to turn. night catch up soon
love PB X

Lin & Poshbird,
I'm really sorry you've both had a bad day. Hope you managed to get some rest in the night. I'm still in the early days of Parkinsons, so cannot appreciate all you are going through. For me, the fear of the unknown is probably the worst thing.-

It's the fear that is the worst
The fear of what's to be.
Do I just have to trust In my own ability
To conquer this my enemy
To lay him low as best I can
Or do I simply wait and see
Without forethought, without a plan?

It's the fear of future times
Knowing things will be less good
But ignorant, as the ivy climbs
And gains a hold as you'd
Expect, winding its way
Up the wall, destroying life
Destroying life before you can say
Stop! It's the fear that's rife.

It's the fear that makes you wonder
Is it better to know what's afoot
Will my world be cast asunder
Does it mean without a doubt
That I'll surely be viewing a wreck
As I sit immobile and just stare
At my life that was?I turn my neck
And see only pain and heartache there.

It's the fear that is the worst
And the best as well I guess.
It might try my bubble to burst
But I won't let it! None the less
The power it wields does weigh so much
Respect for it must not be lost.
One bubble may vanish at its touch-
But yield not to fear at any cost.

Dear Ellemac
It is the fear of the unknown
Living with this PD
We all at times need a good moan
So we come to this little corner of poem
Just to get things of the chest
Somedays we simply don't feel our best
Aches and pains with tremmors that will not stop
Legs feeling heavy,it's a frustrating lot
That we endure each and every day
Taking the tablets to keep things at bay
Ellemac it is the fear of the unknown that you dread
So I say to you, don't look to far ahead
Just take each day whatever it brings
And think of all the happy things
That are in your life that you hold dear
Putting a smile on your face of happiness and cheer!!!!!!!

All the best
PB x

Given away
----------------
This conclusion ends the confusion
When given all away leaves no answers
The bomb still pleading its diffusion
Comtemplates,then leaves time enough for chancers

Each hypnotic heartbeat resonates
The mind detoxes the mixture which inebriates
The body adjusts and accomodates
As then left lingering here just aggreviates

Why?Why?Why?are there questions
Answers dangle fleeced Gold and guarded
The hydra's head removed has most suggestions
Stares skywards now,empty and disguarded

Those who Mind seduce and suck you in
Spit fluorescent remains across the net
Make out words with feeling are a sin
Then wallow smug Ajunction comfort yet

When those enduring deepest sorrow
Turn inwards and pour outwards all their grief
Retire to bastions dark to wallow
Discarding everything intrusive for relief

All things of pleasure then evicted
Removed and given all away
The mind,the body,then convicted
Face now that certain judgement day
Titan

Thanks Poshbird. I'll just wait
As I have much to celebrate.
I'll now forget about tomorrow
And enjoy today with no sorrow.

(At least try!)

Have a good evening all.

The Vigil

I call and wait there's no-one there
Why do I wait why do I care?
Then the voice appears and says I'm here
With you I can share my fears.

So the response is made
nothing fake honest trade
support and care freely sent
But your words are not always meant

Then just like a wisp of smoke
Disappear and then connection broke
Strip your life of all that care
Then once again there's no one there.

Please come back and stay
So those who care may aid your way
to an existence less like hell
Because many you know wish you well.

BJS

Hi,
This was written a while ago,it is not concerning this forum!

Kicked off
-------------------------------------
The hurt destroys ones confidence
Lost people never mend
Emotions and deep rambling thoughts
That others want to end

Understanding internal landscapes
Full panoramic view to see
Like an X-ray of a persons heart
Each soul and spirit free

In it's own external beauty stands
As time in ageless skin
Seasons change,that's only natural
With pure springs from depths within

Storms raging on the outside
Unaffect a heart kept warm
As in the knowledge that the ignorant
Can,t accept what's not the norm

Each individual,different heartbreaks
Pain that cannot be judged or weighed
Against those of another
Even with open heart displayed

Sucked! into a vortex
A cauldron in the stirring
Where gossiping and selection
Verdicts made on those preferring

Judgements unjust and without compassion
Behind the scenes constantly gabbing
The knife passes between those blood stained hands
To continue the backstabbing

Until at last,with plots and scorn designed
For those then,wanted rid
Alternative thoughts and truthfulness
Mean nothing,so they did

Quite content there in their woolen garb
All gathered for the shearing
When decisions made without courtesy
Sentence passed without fair hearing

To toy with peoples feelings,shun them
Sentence them to death
Those Masonic style bonds are clear now
So,with a little more wasted breath

If you are going to run a forum
Impartiality must be observed
To have a control freaks shop of horrors
With bitter pills there daily served

That,s when in realisation seen now
It's all about control
Big Brother stealth style censorship
Plus the use of one Mad Mole

Who unearths their own deep problems
Paranoid style word delusions
When poems meant for others
Baffle,add to their confusions

Then dismissed! for self expresssion
During problematic raves
Overboard go those who rock the boat
Splash!drowned for making waves
Titan

A bright eyed deer,or just prolific notions
Lost,sorting through feelings,caught shuffling emotions
Searching for reasons,finding nothing but questions
Turn,deflecting advice,a deaf ear to suggestions

Listening intently,fully focused,tuned in
Switched off contradiction,channel hop at a whim
Calling for justice,plead release or escape
Forced into something,wrapped in emotional tape

Speed is the name,graceful too,we are prey
Avoiding the capture,Cheetahs meal for the day
Can,t keep bottled no longer,release let it out
Scream at the world in this pain ridden Gout

Feeling richly deserved this hatred transfixed
Contradition with love and compassion when mixed
Revealing sweet rock with words Good written through
Person lost and in turmoil,could be me,could be you.
Titan

A Spark
----------
Ignited from the depths of dark seduction
Torn and twisted morphed with self destruction
An ember glows from breath so brief and subtle
Dark shadows,Alien like slip sprawling as they scuttle

A steamroller jet propelled rumbles in my mind
All colours crystal clear now flashing make me blind
Heart pumped power charged visions of things I need to do
A window opens briefly,exposed and overdue

Mind races off and bounces pogo stick in childish glee
The day dawns bright,my eyes are wide to visions that I see
Hurtling,an express train,what is first to do
It's hard,when feelings catapult into the blue

Justice,peace,sort out all things
Take to the sky on outstretched wings
Try to control,it's hard Oh! what to do
When electric sexual sun is pumping through

Can someone Taser stop my Brain numbed now from screaming
I am awake aren,t I ,or am I still lost dreaming
Try focus now for ever,ever more
Kick all bad thoughts ,will try,right out the door

In realities face I blow a serpants kiss
Not sure if real,or false or even takes the ****
What can be done to start enlightened day
Try righting wrongs or watch more cash gallop away

Try rearrange the things,constantly juggle
Differing weights fall prostrate in a muddle
No time to sleep,this could be long or short
Don,t want to burn out.lost again,distraught

Things to be done,have wrote a magic list
Tick them off,make sure not one is missed
Addiction stuck in icing,sits a cherry
Taste it's sweetness, wash away that poisoned berry

Escape now,full throttle, foot down,press the peddle
Time to play around mischieviously and meddle
Feel the danger ,give in, that strong compulsion
Whitewash dark soul now thick with White emulsion

Lots and lots and lots of things to do
Heady cocktail of so much mixed in a stew
Emotions now hyped, Whoosh in overdrive
Right here,right NOW,reach stars and feel alive.
Titan