My first Tritina.

I wrote the words that no one will sing
My friend wrote the music that no one will play
You tried to bend the notes and halt the game.

Out on the street you asked him to play
Circling around and about in our new game
She whispered the words and I began to sing

After a while she grew tired of the game
Laughed when she said it’s true you can’t sing
She taught us another but only two could play.
.

Let’s play it again and sing the song at the end of the game.

Friendship

Friends a blessing in this life
We choose our friends with care
Sharing sorrows, joys and strife.
Folk whose love we wish to share

Hearts that touch and entwine
Feel the emotions of another
Friendship is love divine
A support for one or other

Selfless care for another soul
Loving just for loves sake
Such caring makes the spirit whole
To give as well as take

Friendship does not wear, never feels old
Someone who goes the extra mile
This treasure you give valued above gold
So whenever there are bad times
We lapse into dark despair
I think about my friend’s love
Which I know is always there

BJS

It,s not just Parkinsons and Medication
--------------------------------------------------------
My Wife and I met nearly Twenty Eight years ago
We have been married now,just turned Twenty Six
Our life has meandered through each high and each low
Complicated,like a game of"Pick up sticks"

Where each move,each decision,each step that we take
Can have the most catastrophic effect
Yet some decisions are made,not the ones we would make
Not necessarly the ones we'd select

Who's to blame for our childhood,we were all a blank page
Raised with care and devotion or alone drenched in tears
Why do some people seem charmed,are content,never rage
Others seem cursed,sat bemused with their fears

When abandonment leaves a void,a vast hole
Then repressed,by a fiend on a mission
When as a child always felt like a part not a whole
Constantly put down,beaten into submission

Things then happen in life,there is no control
You have no say when you are a child
Some have kind parents,their childhood is a Nursery rhyme stroll
Others have parents both abscent and defiled

Who were never there to offer support
When most needed when going through strife
Or found fascination in the pain that they wrought
With abusive objects which cut like a knife

To the heart of one's soul where you curl in a ball
When the blows and the pain become distant
Where defences are built and errecting a wall
All those barriers to block hurt persistent

To be told you were never wanted
To know and feel that you never were loved
Was the way I was treated really warranted
Never guided through life,only shoved

Our childhood years make the person we are now
Then when we embark on a life of our own
Can,t explain,and don,t really know how
Mine went off track when my seed was first sown

The connection that made me a person
Who I loathe in the mirror right now
If I could I would offer desertion
Oh,forgot,already doing,just sorting out how

So with a life now concluding and lost
Struck with Anxiety,phobias and emotions
Hope was already gone before pd's extra cost
With the addition of Parkinsons potions

So what do you get when your Wife freely admits
That I have been one long disappointment
It is as clear as Whistle as one openly submits
Like a fly trapped in lifes sticky ointment

People can say or impart the most uplifting things
Can be direct and say"snap out of it quick"
Look to your family see the joy that it brings
Yet some wounds are not easy to lick

When everything in life has gone totally wrong
From the moment of my unfortunate conception
When at the end of this road which seems eternally long
There will be no fond fanfare,no joyous reception

To underachieve and leave a trail of disaster
Lead a life with a mind in dark turmoil
It is not just a case of applying a plaster
With Parkinsons pouring on additional hot oil

So at the end of the day,now my life's being controlled
Am I happy,by this latest decision
Well the answer is no!!,just see it unfold
This is just causing a greater division

Because you can,t erase all the heartbreak and pain
Can,t undo how you feel deep inside
Parkinsons is just the end carriage on a train
Which full to capacity is on a collision course ride

Titan

it may not be much of a consolation, but you write damned good poetry. no, 'poetry' is too prissy a word for something so visceral, disturbing, poignant.

Titan, I am struck by two of the phrases in your poem:

“Our childhood years make the person we are now“

and

“So what do you get when your Wife freely admits
That I have been one long disappointment “

I agree with the sentiment behind the first phrase, but would like to remind you that there is always so much love expressed for you on this forum that it must be possible for a beautiful person to be moulded out of adversity.

Regarding the second phrase, I would like to bet that your wife means that she has often felt disappointed by your behaviour. That is quite different from her feeling that YOU are a disappointment. The first you can do something about; the second you can’t.

And besides all that, yes, you ARE a damned good poet!

Lifes Disappointments

On lifes disappointments we may muse unendending
It doesn't negate the pain you feel or the love I'm sending
Childhood we know can be less than it should be
Leaving such deep wounds that bleed when others do not see
A partner may not understand but still may show their care
Although feels like loss of liberty their consistancy is remaining there
On your view of self, we have to say your vissions impaired
its not a true picture of the man I know the man whose visions shared
On the sharing of your visions, you know you have a gift
Words that flow like silk or honey, though emotions we need to sift
Sowhat others said is echoed here and friendhips hand streched out
Whenever or wherever you only need to shout!

With Respect

BJS

Hi Turnip,Lily,BJS,Thanks and apologies,
Turnip,you feel in those Three words what Health professionals dismiss or are blind to,
Lily,the second phrase goes beyond the depths unseen,your words however mean a lot to me.
BJS,you know most the true extent,your poems reflect that knowledge and sentiment,forever grateful


When Deprivation Leads To Nothin
---------------------------------------------------

Read the the letters,read the whole,read the numbers,see the soul
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1.)When an acorn drops unoticed from a fruitless hardened Oak
a)Deprived of a life that could have been,as squirrelled,hid away
b)When caught drifting in the undertow in waters darkened Grey
2.)The words lost gargling in the throat left then to surface or to choke
c)Pulled against the natural flow lost in depths of Hellish smoke
d)Never growing,never forming,hides behind the darkest cloak
3.)When restricted,noose like,useless draped in fun for those to poke

4.)Lost remnants formed beyond the pale now writhe behind a veil
e)As lifetimes thoughts and memories caught,reflect on shards that cut the deepest
f)Impressed by those who in their minds are really just the cheapest
5.)Castigated on emergence on a pole that will impale
g)A mistake spawned in the offering,a sacrifice to Nothing
h)Then repeated in the parcel passed reveals another Nothing
6.)Left hanging through eternity on a cross,the deepest nail

7.)Disturbs and then excites,entices,sucks the Lamb of God
i)When deprivation that's invisible strangles what has and has not been
j)Turns what was meant,turns back,rebends,forms that which now unseen
8.)His hand a twisted melody is holding the last card
k)As Rhyme upon a rascals bidding dabbles with the Devil
l)Don,t entertain,for certainty is not another level
9.)The suit that rocks the cradle,can often push too hard

10.)The evil that men do resets the challenge from within
m)When trying as one might to quell the current in a stream
n)Reaching out for help reveals another fading dream
11.)When the heat from smouldering depths melts the ice now wearing thin
o)The freezing isolation then unlocks that deprivation
p)Never far and always lingered on those lips since its creation
12.)Breathes on a foggy misted window the word written there "Nothin"

Titan

Twenty eight years.

You choose your words and use them like rapiers
Pierced through with precision I lay down to die
Just because there is no blood ruining the carpet
You ignore my entreaties, perspiration and wails.

There was a time when we belonged together
That was long ago when we were both young
Our foundation lacked careful consideration
The tides have run the mortar from the stones

I can see myself in the reflection of your tears
The sad resignation that nothing will change
I refuse to accept it was all a disappointment
If for no other reason than the children we made.

The foundation is sliding slowly into the crevice
There is nothing else for a house built on sand
Retreat to the high ground before the morning
And watch as the tide takes the jetsam away.

Like soldiers defending hill tops and trenches
Sentries doing their duty, halt who goes there,
They give me advice to which I won’t listen
My brain can’t compute as it sinks in despair.

Twenty eight years that is almost half of my life
Spent watching in wonder as we drifted apart
If this is the end lets finish at the beginning
With soft slow kisses and a piece of my heart.

Dark Hearts and Coronets

When the soul aches but deprives its self of balm
Pain is meted out as punishment in doses
A knife that slashes like a tongue devoid of charm
These then are the darkest times when the void closes
When life wounds can inflict the greatest harm

In the darkness of a wounded heart it is hard to see
But shine a light in the dark and you may just find
Where the soul lies bleeding pleading to be free
A valiant man a hero, honest loyal and kind.
A thoughtful forgiving soul you’ll find, if you don’t flee

A spirit who wants to soar but life has clipped his wings
The inner man imprisoned and the outer man constrained
His words and lyrics dark ones but he carries on and sings
Through the abyss he stretches out clutching at what remained
Pulls the chord hanging there the dead bell clangs and rings
Cleanse your soul with love with warmth and wash out all the stains

Peer into the dark friend look for the light
Through the gloom you will see me
I am armed for this fight
Strap your helm on and pick up now the shield
Mount your steed again sir as we take to the field
I will be there at your side as previously vowed
Together and forever we will refuse to yield.


BJS

...and you also Bogman, a great poem, moving, with vivid images, but so sad.