I have always hated being told, "It could be worse".

As I lay upon the bed, witnessing my own catheter being inserted for the first time, I thought "AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhh"

Then I thought "How much tubing do you need?"

Then I thought "HHHHaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Afterwards I thought "How much worse can things get?"

Then I thought "Well she could have drove it home with a jack hammer."

This caused my to laugh, which in turn produced a scratchy sensation in my urethra.

Whilst typing this post I have discovered that sneezing is far more uncomfortable than laughing.

Does anyone know the best way of removing a full bag from the ceiling?

dont use darts.

deepest sympathy T

I was almost inspired by the wheelchair rugby until I realised that I had missed 20mins of scooby doo and 25mins of match of the day. Can the day get any worse?

Thanks Tumsh for the sympathy, don't worry I'll get my own tea, it's a long way from oz. The tea would get cold, the envelope wet and the postie mad.

I wont be a tick, lucky i had some rope and crampons in my back pocket ( in case I fell into the veggie section at Freshco's, again ).

There again it could have been worse. I could have been hanging there by the catheter all day.

How I'll look back and laugh, one day. Not today though, but one day.

Excuse me - I hope you don't mind my little contribution here. 'It could be worse' is a doubtful expression but here is another - ''you've gotta laff, haven't you?

You two always raise a laugh or two and I admire you for it. Having been threatened with a catheter (that spelling doesn't look right)myself, the very thought that I might need one, makes the tears fall. How much more of my dignity can this disease take? (Don't tell me, I think I know!)

All the best (another dodgy expression?!!)

Lin
xx

Hi Eck I can sympathise,having gone through the procedure myself. I don't know which was worse the embarrassment or the pain. Bag on the ceiling I have a large handbag you could borrow to put it in ,which will way it down.hope you are feeling better Angel4u

For pity's sake don't give him a second bag, that will cause even more confusion!
If they are different colours, which shoes is he going to wear?

Gott in Himmel!

It's not going to change colour as well is it?

If it goes tartan is that a sign of infection?

I got into a panic the other day when my kilt got tangled in my bag.

That's it...you could camouflage it as a sporran!

I decided to attach a chanter to my tartan bag, instead of a droning lament I got Handles water music and a whole lot of pee.

My new invention could be a way of beating the hose pipe ban for those living in the southeast of england.

So we may see a new wave of people wandering up and down their lawn with their bladders under their arms playing Handles Water Music.

Before we can mass produce this we will have to

a) get mrs handles OK on copyright (I think mr handle is dead)
b) get a lot of catheters fitted

I've still to get my people to talk to PUK's people, but the Ronco P-Mc-Matic-Musical-Lawn-Sprinkler-Fetrilizer should be available in the PUK shop (Next to Ecks Poems on a tea towel, which are next to the Ecks poetry toilet roll, next to Ecks Book of Grammer and Smelling and the enrichment of the English language through the introduction of the Scots vernacular)

That would save on a lot of flushing. This could be a winner, it ticks all the boxes.

Save water - No more flushing (tick)

Not sure how good this would be for the lawn, however I do remember a gardening program with organic gardener Bob Flowerdew telling a posh lady orange grove owner that urinated cider makes a good pesticide/fertilizer for orange trees. Thats either true or a good dream. I can still see the look on her face.

I'm off to buy shares in catheters, tartan, chanters, cider and febreeze (with the pittance I have left after DA's)