I am not having a good day today. I hardly slept at all last night so consequently I am very tired, have had a headache all day and no motivation.

To top it all I should have been with my husband tonight watching the Panto he is in. Following him going he said that he would "think about it" - meaning about me going. He has never let me know what his decision was, so consquently I have not gone.

To top it all I have found the CD's containing the pictures of our lovely 3 weeks holiday, mainly in NZ, but with a couple of days in HK, when we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary in 2007 and have been looking at them. I now can't stop crying.

Hammy
Im really sorry to read that you are having such a bad day. You have been doing so well. You are bound to have a few steps backwards amongst the positive steps forward that you have been taking. Dont give in. Looking back on good times together must be really hard for you but if it helps you then so be it. Shed a few tears then carry on. You will be a stronger person for all these troubles eventually.
Take care, keep posting if it helps
Carrot

Hi Carrot

Thank you for yoru kind words. I have hardly slept last night too despite having a glass of wine with dinner.

I am beginning to wonder if this hurt will ever end - at the moment I am living each day as it comes.

Hubby is coming down to see the physio and PD nurse on Friday and will be staying the night. I have aske dhim what his plans are for the weekend because I have a chance to go out on Saturday night - but don't want him left in the house on his own.

Oh dear why is he doing this to me !!!???

Hammy
If you have been invited out on Saturday, personally I suggest you put your lippy on and go. Might be the wake up call your husband needs! My first husband had an affair and left me with four small children. He had no interest in having me back until I fell in love with someone else, we had been married for 14 years. (I am now married to the lovely man I fell in love with). My ex thought noone else would want me with 4 small children and he could flit in and out when he felt like it. Once he realised someone else wanted me he went 'hell for leather' to get me back. Unfortunately for him he left it too late, 6 years on he still hasnt got over it!
Give him your support but remember to value yourself. This is probably a bit rambly as Ive just been to a drinks party at a neighbours and probably had one too many!
Take care
Carrot

Carrot..............what a sensible reply to hamster you made, IMO, despite the one too many that you said you had!

Regrettably, I have one too many, too many times, just to forget it all and to have a nights sleep, though that doesn't often happen.

Sorry, going through a really bad time at the moment, I never dreamt that it would be this bad after just 10 years. Others seem to not reach this stage after 20 years.................why?

OH is 58 this month and all I can see now is a pretty bleak future. We have done things in the last few years, TG, that we had planned for retirement, in our 60's.

Please folks, do not put off what you want to do, do it now, the rainy day will look after itself.

Hope he can get some help at his appointment on 28th.
Sorry for the moan.

Benji
Im so sorry you are having such a hard time. I tried to PM you but you dont take PM's. Cant chat now unfortunately!
Take care
Speak soon
Carrot x

I have just enabled the message system. Tried to message you to tell you, but seems that you aren't taking messages!!!

Will get there eventually.