Hi, my husband is a wonderful man and I love him very much, but I do not, in all honesty know how he is coping with my illness. We have been married 35 years and know each other very well as you can probably imagine, but he is not one to express his fears and anxieties openly, my approach has to be gentle. He has always felt that he needs to protect me and I worry that perhaps he feels he may have failed in that. I may of course be very wrong and my fears may be unfounded.

I know we will probably continue with the status quo and live life day to day, which is not so bad is it? It is not as though we never discuss it and he was openly approving of my joining the local group, which in all honesty surprised me, his response was that he thought it would be good for me to meet people with PD.

Perhaps the question I am really asking, is how do I cope with how my husband is coping with my illness?

Hello Jenny,

I am married to Pat aged 63, diagnosed in 2006 aged 61. We have just celebrated our Ruby Wedding (40 years).

I think you have almost answered your own question that you will just take one day at a time and enjoy life. You sound as though, like us, you have a good base to work from.

Being the partner of a PwP can be a very scary place to be at times, but if I gave one piece of advice, it would be this. Try to avoid 'fussing' too much and just let your husband be as independent as possible. This is not as easy task at times.

Do feel free to message me if you would like to talk.

Kind regards,

Panda.

Dear Panda, thanks for your comments. If my husband has one failing it is that he fusses too much and when he is here, insists on doing all the work, which is lovely, but sometimes I do find that he leaves me with nothing. When I do insist on doing things I sometimes feel he gets a little annoyed with me. I know his heart is in the right place, but I do have to maintain a degree of independence, don't I?

Thanks
JennyM

Hello Jennym
I read your post with interest. It sounds as if you're in the same position as me. I've been married 36yrs and my OH tries to do everything for me, which is so frustrating. I end up telling him I'm not an invalid (yet). I know he is only trying to help but getting him to understand I need to be as independant as I can while I'm still capable is like trying to flog a dead horse. I just tell him every day that if I can't cope I will tell him. That seems to keep him happy. Hope this helps.
Take care.
Sheila

Dear Sheila, thanks for this, it is good to know there is someone with a similar story to tell.

Thanks
JennyM