For info, "Age Concern" and "Help The Aged" have now merged, to form "Age UK".
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Hello everyone - eventually I am back on the forum. Well I went to Spain for 5 days and a couple of neighbours popped in and saw my mum and walked the dog and apart from my house being really untidy - although it is not that tidy at best as I work full time my mum had survived although she claimed she had developed sciatica and the GP confirmed this so she is now less mobile than usual. Well I suppose I was trying to my luck so I selfishly went on holiday for 10 days - OK I know I shouldn't have but I was desperate - it is not just caring for my mum that wears me out I have a really busy full time job as well. The GP offered her respite which she refused so the same neighbours did the same thing as before - I phoned her twice a day and she appeared okay. However on Friday, I was dropped of by a cab and couldn't open the front door when I did eventually manage to get in the door she was standing there in the stone position - head nearly down on knees with trousers and knickers by her ankles. The house was in awful state 10 days of washing up and the kitchen looked like it had been bombed as does the rest of the house - I am not even a quarter way through yet of tidying up. She is hallucinating wildly now -foxes in the house a burglar in the house all the time and she is very spiteful and nasty with it. Her sister who really doesnt get involved called me and told me that there was nothing wrong with my mother it is all the drugs she is being forced to take and I just want to get her put in her a home out of my way! I was very upset about this and was crying espcially as the sister then started speaking to my mum who was in the midst of dementia and was just answering yes and know and her sister said to me - see I told you so she agrees with me!

Mum's condition was getting worse so I called emergency doctor who came out and told me that she was extremely stiff and he thinks it is because she is has not been taking her medication. I don't know what to do she has an appointment with the practice nurse on Tuesday for something else but she is really out of it now she has been asleep now after her bout of nastiness for about 4 hours on the sofa I have not disturbed her but she has had nothing to eat or drink but I really don't want to wake her to suffer more abuse. I am paying mightily for my second holiday. I will phone social services on Monday but I know they won't be interested. I am meant to go back to work on Wednesday but really don't want to but don't want the GP to put me off sick with stress because it will look so bad on me at work and as I am 58 I am frightened they will get rid of me and I need my job.

Oh goodness, you really need help. Isn't the GP the first port of call,to access other help? My Dad became unmanageable at home after developing a urine infection, being horrible, unable to sleep, unable to move to the point where I couldn't feed him. I called the GP, who sent out the district nurse and while she was there I got a phonecall saying my daughter had been rushed to hospital, so I had to leave. Then the nurse arranged for Dad to be hospitalised, where they ended up diagnosing Lewy Body dementia as well as the infection. From then on the system seemed to take over, and now he is in a care home, which is the only manageable option as I live 50 miles away from his house. (he's in a care home near me)
If you don't get help one or other of you will end up in hospital!!
Would work give you compassionate leave to get it sorted out?
Lyn

Hi again, if you want to talk to someone contact me via my email address, it's somewhere on here.
You must sort this out: both of you unwell is not good. You are neither selfish nor mad: just human.

Please remember the helpline.

mrs.t.

Thanks everyone for your support. I am, at some stage, getting a care and a carer assessment from social services. Also another care society is getting someone round to see me. Today had to drag my mum to the car as she is frozen solid to take to docs appointment. The GP said that it doesnt look as if her medication is being properly managed and told me to contact the consultant or the parkinson's nurse who never responded to my call so spoke to the consultant who said that my mum was okay when last seen just over a month ago if I felt she was deteriorating it was the GPs area or if I felt it was that bad then take her to A and E and get her admitted - not that they would know much about parkinson's so would probably contact him anyway. So that was no use was it. He ended up by saying that he might try and fit her in a forthcoming clinic. Mum has been an absolute cow all day screaming at me, accusing me of ruining her life and all sorts of things. Luckily I have managed to get myself a sick certificate for a week but I just can't cope especially with the dementia.

I am so very sorry Jumper. You are dealing with a terrible situation. I wish I had a solution to offer. Perhaps Lynp's suggestion of A&E might be the way to go?. You are probably right - they will know little about pd, but if your mother is admitted you will at least know that she is in a safe place & you can let the system take over. There has to be a starting point
With my best wishes

Is there anyone else who you trust to talk to?
It is not fair on either of you, there is only a certain amount we can all cope with, which is why we live in a civil,caring society.

Keep talking.

Thanks to all - things are better at the moment - I do think my mum was not taking her medicine properly - she is even walking around now that I have taken control and am monitoring it. I am still awaiting a visit from social services but hopefully will get one soon. I just hope she continues to make a decent recovery for when I return to work next week. thank you all for caring.