Newly Diagnosed

Dennis Drakes:

My Story – Living with Parkinson’s Disease

In 2006 I took up an appointment as a Consultant in Bangladesh with an international organisation. As a Consultant ‘in the field’ for the past 15 years I was used to overseas postings. But I found myself wondering why I felt under so much pressure in this particular assignment.

Around August I began to notice some physical signs of what was later to be diagnosed as Parkinson’s Disease. The twitching of the middle finger of my right hand was the first sign that something was not right. This uncontrollable twitching was also evident when I used the computer. I was amused (at first) when I would click the mouse for no apparent reason – my hand would just take over and do its own thing. But my amusement quickly changed to concern.  I knew within myself all was not right. Added to this, I felt tired and generally unwell most of the time. I convinced myself that I was not eating and drinking properly.

Despite thinking it was nothing serious, I still had doubts in my mind. The resident organisation Doctor at first put it down to stress. She prescribed rest and relaxation along with muscle relaxants to try and control the twitching, which by this time was developing into a hand tremor. I expected the medication to have a calming effect, but I became rather anxious instead. In retrospect this was my first anxiety attack, as at the time I recall that I became extremely nervous and agitated, for no apparent reason. On a follow up visit to the Doctor the medication was discontinued and it was then that Parkinson’s was first mentioned.

The fact that my family was not with me during this posting was no doubt a factor in mounting feelings of loneliness and depression. I found out later that Parkinson’s could also have contributed to these feelings. I returned to London at every available opportunity. Travelling by air had never been a problem for me in the past, but it was on one of these flights back home that I experienced a severe anxiety attack. This made me realise that something was drastically wrong, and I needed to have it further investigated.

My GP in London did suspect Parkinson’s, but there was no time during my visit to see a neurologist. When I returned to Bangladesh I shared my GP’s concerns with the organisation Doctor. I then visited a neurologist in Bangladesh and the diagnosis was confirmed – Parkinson’s. I more or less expected the diagnosis, as I had been primed for it a few months earlier.

What followed influenced my decision to leave Bangladesh. When I was diagnosed, I was prescribed a cocktail of drugs, which to put it mildly, had me on edge for the three days and made me unstable on my feet. I decided to return to the UK immediately.

It proved to be the right decision. Specialists at the hospital in the UK told me that the cocktail was just too much for my system, and further, the medication prescribed was rather outdated, by at least 10 years. Treatments had evolved.

Now I am under the expert care of Parkinson’s specialists at my local hospital in the UK. I moved quickly from diagnosis to acceptance. There was no real ‘denial’ stage, though accepting that I will have to live with a progressive disease for the rest of my life was not easy to come to terms with. I must confess that all my thoughts at that time were consumed by the dreaded ‘Parkinson’s’. In those early days my confidence disappeared.  Going to the local supermarket was a chore, not to mention visiting a shopping mall where large crowds triggered anxiety attacks, leading to an inevitable ‘flight’ response.

My medication has kicked in now, and I am much better for it. I should also add that it has not all been up to the medication. The support I have received has been just as important, most of all from my family. They have been there for me whenever I have needed consolation and reassurance. The support I have received from healthcare professionals and Parkinson’s support groups has also been tremendous.  Together they have put me on the right path to understanding and dealing with the condition.

My journey with Parkinson’s has begun and where it will end is a mystery question.

But I believe that in the short time that I have been diagnosed with Parkinson’s, and with what has happened since then, I am in a better position to dictate my own future and to lead a life as normal as possible. Yes, I have Parkinson’s, but it is by no means a sentence!