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Caring for my husband - Valerie Crawford's story

Valerie Crawford has provided care for her husband John, since he was diagnosed with Parkinson's when he was 56.

They live in Northern Ireland, with their 2 teenage sons.

Life changes with Parkinson's

Our relationship is just as strong as it was when we first got together 30 years ago.

"I love my husband very much, and our relationship is just as strong as it was when we first got together 30 years ago.

"He was a civil engineer and studied advanced mathematics at Queen's University in Belfast. He still has a brilliant brain, but there's been a marked change in his body.

"We just have to look at each other and we know what the other is thinking, but John’s speech can be affected if he's tired.

"His voice, which was always quite quiet, is now very quiet and low - so it's difficult to hear him.

"My life has changed since the diagnosis in so many ways too. I've had to become the head of the house because John is dependent on me now.

"We used to do so many things together which we can't do now, like ballroom dancing and sailing."

Challenges of caring

My main worry is that I could become ill, and John wouldn't be able to cope on his own.

"At around 7am, when John is trying to get up, he usually finds himself paralysed and unable to move for a while. This is because his medication has worn off.

"I stay awake with him comforting him because he can only move his eyes.

"I have all the responsibility and the worry, but I need to keep everything together.

"My life is on hold until I see John through this condition, which we both know is progressive and incurable. When you see someone you love slowly deteriorating, it's soul-destroying.

"My main worry is that I could become ill, and John wouldn't be able to cope on his own.

"I care for him because I love him and we both hope that one day they'll find a cure, even if it's too late for John."

Support for carers

Take a look at our advice for carers of people with Parkinson's.

Our information and support workers offer one-to-one information and emotional support to people with Parkinson's, their families and carers.